


Scientists have the best alcohol

by scipiocipher



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7809733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scipiocipher/pseuds/scipiocipher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok so infinite_sigh (questionmarknoises on tumblr) posted a fanfic idea and I asked if I could write it and here we are, the plot and premise are not mine, they belong to infinite_sigh, as well as a portion of Eiffel's drunken rambling</p></blockquote>





	Scientists have the best alcohol

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infinite_sigh](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=infinite_sigh).



Hilbert sat down for a second. “Minkowski is sick. Hera is rebooting.” He muttered to himself. “Just me and Officier Eiffel as able bodied crew.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of nose, temporarily dislodging his glasses. “Just me and Officier Eiffel.”  
The door slammed open, making Hilbert jump.   
“Hey Doc- woah, you okay?” Speak of the devil. “Doc.” Hilbert blinked. Right. Eiffel had asked him something. What was it? “Doc, are you okay?” Right, that.  
“I am fine, Officer Eiffel.” He said, with the same veneer of calm professionalism that he attempted to keep up at all times. “You wanted to see me about something?”  
“Yeah, I was thinking, with Minkowski being laid up and all, you could help me with something.” Eiffel slung an arm around Hilbert's smaller shoulders. “I've been meaning to ask you for a while now, In fact.”  
“Already do not like where this is going.” Hilbert muttered.  
“Alcohol.”  
“...continue.” He muttered, his voice full to the brim with apprehension.  
Eiffel grinned a little, not quite enough to really be called a grin, but there wasn't anything else like it all the same so I suppose it counted as a grin. “You see, one of the things we don't have in our provisions is alcohol-”  
“You want me to make alcohol.” Hilbert interjected.  
“Yeah, ideally whiskey, but really anything goes at this point.” Eiffel looked at him and Hilbert could tell he wouldn't be able to say no to that hopeful expression.  
“I will try.” Eiffel smiled, a real smile, the only one Hilbert had ever seen on his face. It made his heart flutter against his ribs.  
•—•—•—•  
Hilbert paced around his lab, waiting for some liquids to boil. Eiffel watched from the doorway.  
Doctor Hilbert may have been one of the most eccentric, and possibly crazy, people Eiffel had ever met, but he wasn't all bad. Definitely not all bad. Obsessive, yeah, just try getting him away from a project, he'd rather burn. But that obsession, while going too far at times, was pretty fucking admirable.  
Hilbert pulled the liquids off the burners suddenly and mixed them cautiously, holding them as far away as possible without spilling them. He pulled the ‘coffee’ pot off its burner and droppered some in. He swished it a little to mix it up, and poured it into a mug, handing it to Eiffel.  
“Alright, let's get this party started!” Eiffel said with enthusiasm.  
—•—•—•—  
A few hours later, Hilbert was starting to regret his decisions. (And looking at those sparkling green gold eyes when Eiffel asked him for alcohol.)  
“Space is juusttt… Sooo fuuvkcing big. Like. duuuude…. its so fuck- hic -fuucking HUGE mmman imma fight it.” He gestured towards the window clumsily. “Mmmmlemme fight it…. Noooo waiiit I’d.. Loooose….. “ he slurred. “Fukc why’s it so fUKING BIIIIIG MANNNN.” He leaned heavily on Hilbert, who was starting to think his resolution to never drink was a smart one.  
“Shouldn't be sooo fuking big for no- hic -nooo reasoonnn. It's got- got no reason at alllllll.” He looked at Hilbert and Hilbert looked down.  
“Righttt Dooc? It's got nooo reaasoon to be that big, right?” He asked, tracing loops and swirls on Hilbert's shoulder with his index finger.   
Hilbert couldn't take another second of this. Eiffel was being affectionate and sweet, so yeah, that was nice, but he was so wrong.  
“‘M right, ain't I, Doc?” That was it. The last straw, the blow that sent his self control flying into the star.   
Hilbert grabbed the collar of Eiffel's shirt and pressed their lips together. Eiffel made a small startled noise of surprise. He moved his lips against Hilbert's slightly, tasting faintly of cinnamon and cigarette smoke...  
Hilbert jerked away from Eiffel. He had just kissed a fellow crew member, a drunk fellow crew member.   
“Wha-?” Eiffel was still leaning on him, a somewhat confused expression on his face, too inebriated to form a thought that made sense.  
Eiffel suddenly slumped even more heavily against him, eyes closed and softly snoring. Hilbert sighed and thanked the universe that they were in a low gravity part of the station. (He'd killed people. This wasn't- wasn't the worst thing he'd done. It was probably the least illegal thing he'd done since Cutter had employed him, in fact, he rationalized.)  
As he dragged Eiffel to his quarters (could you drag someone in space?) , the gravity lessened and he had to grab onto the handrail. He typed in the access code to Eiffel's quarters (it wasn't hard to guess; pizza) and elbowed the door open, pulling Eiffel into his quarters.   
He laid Eiffel in his bed, pausing uncertainly. He wouldn't remember anything from the last two hours most likely. (Hopefully.) He tucked a loose strand of hair behind Eiffel's ear and kissed his temple.   
—•—•—•—  
When Eiffel awoke, he had a roaring headache. He rolled onto his side and groaned, holding his head in his hands. All he remembered was alcohol and-  
Oh.  
Oh fucking shit.  
Well, uh. Shit. Shit, he was definitely attracted to Hilbert, shit.  
Shit, what was he supposed to do now, shiiiit.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so infinite_sigh (questionmarknoises on tumblr) posted a fanfic idea and I asked if I could write it and here we are, the plot and premise are not mine, they belong to infinite_sigh, as well as a portion of Eiffel's drunken rambling


End file.
